they don’t know i used to lay awake
occasionally that i still do
wondering about
illness recovery
asking why
do things always happen for a reason?
are they preordained?
by god?
by a higher force?
does god know the outcome?
can a force care?
lying in bed night after night
eyes wide open
alert
the sun is up and i am selfish
but when i’ve pulled up the sheet, blanket
and comforter
this is when i think beyond today and tomorrow, beyond this weekend
how much time does she have?
and again i wonder
do things always happen for a reason?
are they preordained?
by god?
by a higher force?
does god know the outcome?
can a force care?
lying in bed night after night
eyes wide open
alert
provided selfless comfort
mind clouded
but focused
stuck
mind stuck
love did this to me
sleep comes easier now
the questions lurk though
an inner struggle
like a long wrestling match
turning the t.v. on and off
as if the remote controls my thoughts
the series may be canceled
i may stop watching
this is an inner struggle
a struggle of time
oh my -
ReplyDeletethis was lovely!