Assignment #8 - Wes Davis - Huh?

Fears: the future, accidentally calling a teacher by their first name

Annoyances: showing up late, being ignored, discrimination
Accomplishments: making my community theatre debut
Confusions: physics, period.
Sorrows: identity, the 20 deaths of black trans women thus far in 2019, anti-queer sentiments, tearing myself down for no good reason
Dreams: living my truth, acting on theatrical stages and on television, advocating for queer rights, spreading music as far as I can reach
Idiosyncrasies: calling everyone "bab" (my overall peculiar selection of vocabulary)
Risks: living my truth (desire), napping
Beloved Possessions: my phone unfortunately, my water bottle, twitter.com, Pose on FX
Problems: saying "huh?" and then answering the question while they repeat their self, talking about myself too much (stems from a desperate want of approval from others), eating when I'm bored (food is good though so is this really an issue?)

A quiet mind. That's something I, as an overly anxious, consistently overthinking, walking mess of an individual had hardly ever experienced. I'll set the scene. Imagine this: A black void, nothing above you, below you, around you. Silence. Wait, is that right? Oh, so this is what silence is like! The demeaning yet humorous thoughts that fester in your mind are also on vacation. How cute! I hope they're enjoying their stay. :)

This quiet is something that I, as someone who consistently battles themself on their very existence, may never experience. Being comfortable and confident in myself is a behemoth of a task that will take if not years, the rest of my lifetime. This isn't something I'm looking forward to. That constant battle with your own thoughts is tiring. Sometimes it really feels like I'm fighting a boxing match up there. Being someone who can barely unscrew a jar of peanut butter, that fight isn't going too well. 

My one dream is that one day I'll be able to look at that person in the mirror, or the person up there in my empty skull (trust me, not a lot of brain power up there, only a brain cell at most), and be okay with them. Here's a crazy thought, we could even be friends! Sounds like a good time to me.