assignment #5 - lily gardner: musings after the cesspool

I actively aspire to become a connoisseur of television, but alas, I lack the focus necessary for adequate follow through on any television series. I do have a theory as to why this is the case. 

I learnt of my family’s acquisition of Netflix on the drive home from attending Yom Kippur services in Huntington, West Virginia. That day, despite not fasting, I was not allowed to use my phone until the cover of darkness fell, nor had I been able to go to the coveted Charming Charlie’s in the mall prior to our departure. I was young and angry and desperate for the blue light emitted from my tiny iPhone 5s. 

So when the text from my father chimed, I was less than eager to respond. The implication of required calling him would take away from my fleeting moments between Temple and sleep to go on Instagram and Tumblr (which was still popular at the time). He called my mother instead to inform her that, on a whim, he had acquired Netflix. He had forgotten it was Yom Kippur. I was ecstatic, as I had seasons of Glee left to watch that I couldn’t find to pirate off the internet. 

Our acquisition of this beacon of light conveniently coincided with my entrance into the public school system. For much of my life, I had been sheltered in the germ free environment of private Catholic school in the middle of the mountains of Eastern Kentucky. My first year following my introduction to the cesspool that is a public middle school was filled with a number of absences due to sickness that rival my current attendance rate. What was I expected to do other than watch Netflix? 

I quickly tore through Pretty Little Liars, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, all of the worst classics for a “tween.” And after a year of watching the first season of a show, only to realize it was trash, I developed a horrible habit of just looking up the plot. Reading what was going to occur without having to take the time to finish it was a much more worthwhile use of my time. 

And so, it is not that I lack the desire to watch television, it is simply that I cannot. I spoiled my attention span, and I firmly believe there is no chance for remedy. A long list of high quality dramas await on my watchlist, but they are left unopened, all except Godless, which is some of the highest quality television I have ever seen. Mini series, it appears, are my callings. I’m just too noncommittal for the ten seasons of Shameless, despite my deep love for the Gallaghers.