Haley Noehren - assignment #25 - pretty sure this is a simulation

I think I'm kinda unique. I'm farsighted, couldn't swallow a pill until this year (yes, this year), and am terrible at spelling. But there's more to me than just a physical existence, to understand someone I think you have to understand their mind. Know how they work, and why. What they struggle with and how to help them. So let me give you a tour of my mind. Ever since I was in elementary school I struggled with anxiety and stress. I eventually learned how to manage it, but that took some time. I still deal with anxiety, but the years of it being unmanaged led to more issues. For as long as I could remember, I felt like I was existing outside of my body, that I was walking in an eternal dream. You know that feeling when you are driving for a while and then don’t remember where you drove at all- yeah that’s how I feel a lot. I learned to live with the feeling of detachment, but I guess that's not life as it should be. After mentioning this to my mother, she made me go talk to someone (I didn't want to, it's not like feeling detached can affect me that much). And it turns out there's this thing called depersonalization and derealization. It's kinda hard to describe, so if you are actually reading this I suggest googling it. So all those years of walking around feeling like a parasite inside of a host body made sense. The days I didn't recognize myself in the mirror because I was so detached now had an explanation. I've been working on it now and I've gotten better at managing it. I've learned to adapt and live with it, so it's not even that noticeable or doesn't affect me that much. I feel most present when I listen to music, am outside, or with friends - basically doing anything I like that also keeps my mind busy. And that's me. Somedays I feel really detached, and there will be weeks where I feel fine. I consider myself a pretty open person, so I don't really mind talking about this or my challenges in life. This doesn't define me, but makes my existence unique. I've taken this and learned and grown from it.