Assignment #13- Ellis Padgett- Chew the Gum

Fellow students, I reach out to you for this one.

In our three years at Henry Clay High School, we have seen our building deteriorate before our very eyes. Grime collects in the corners, water floods the bathroom, the air conditioner has a mind of its own. Last year, I stepped in vomit.
But fret not, for I have finally come up with a solution. The big-wig budgeting people refuse to provide us the funding we truly need to fix these problems. So now, we take it from them.
Performing a raid would be ineffective (quite frankly, I don't know where the money actually is). We need something legal, yet efficient. Sacrifices must be made. The school system is trying to break us.

So let's break ourselves.

The more harm that comes to us via unsanitary or unsafe school property, the more we can sue for. We all have to join together and play a part. And there are so many opportunities!
1: The AP Physics tables. They are falling apart. Namely, I speak of the front right table in the middle row (if you face the board). Its heavy counter-top has become completely unhinged from the rest of the frame. One simple push and WHAMO! It will thunk to the ground.
All that is needed for this opportunity is 2 people. You and your partner decide who gets to do what. One person stands in front of the table, while the other gives the counter-top a slight push. After a soft crunch and some light screaming, that money is yours, baby, and the tables will suddenly be fixed.
2: The water. There is a steady leak in the yellow hallway stairwell (and all of the bathrooms) that has not been fixed in the 3 years I have been here, and I am sure for many before. I have witnessed people fall on accident each year. Now, all we have to do is fall on purpose!
These leaks are big cash-opportunities. Bring your slip-and-slide mats to school, and go CRAZY! Imagine the chaotic fun as we take advantage of this indoor water park that sits there unused. Feel free to take a running start; the faster you go, the more you can sue for. Our leaks will be fixed. Finally, when it rains outside it won't rain inside.
3: CHEW THE GUM. This is the big one. I understand your fear at performing the other tasks. But we all have school spirit, so here is an easy way to prove we have a problem and get the educational environment we deserve.
It doesn't matter which class, which hour, which grade. There will be gum under the desks. I implore you, my fellow students, when you are bored and hungry, take advantage of this special option. It will temporarily satiate you, and a few hours later will undoubtedly cause some other troubles. Within weeks, there will be a school-wide epidemic. It's flu season, guys. A gentle cold will do the trick. And I'm sure there is still Whooping Cough snuggled up under a table somewhere, practically waiting to serve our school. Chew gum, get money. Save our school.

There are an infinite amount of ways we can work together to fix our educational environment. Some of these methods might be a little closer- and a little tastier- than you think.