assignment #22 - taylor galavotti - not quite right

when i was quite small, about 5 months, my mom was convinced something was wrong with me. my eyes would dart back and forth and my limbs would shake uncontrollably but only some of the time and never when she brought me to a doctor. so they brushed her off, saying "it was a seizure," or "try this medication, but i don't think this will happen again." no i don't have epilepsy, so this whole situation proved incredibly confusing. after visiting just about every pediatrician in the greater Lexington area, she finally stumbled upon dr. baumann at UK Children's Hospital. he knew what was wrong with me. "opsoclonus myoclonus syndrome (OMS)," he said, "that's what she has. in most cases, it's caused by a neuroblastoma (fancy word for brain tumor), but hers was caused by a virus of some kind. it's been eating her brain."

yes, eating my brain. my immune system got confused fighting that virus and started attacking my brain, specifically my frontal lobe (where emotions, judgement, planning, and lots of other important things are stored). so i was left, 5 months old, without a proper operating system and the worst eyesight EVER. think of your cell phone minus the SIM card. you can't do much. so i was put in therapy. not just normal, talk to karen about your depression and anxiety therapy, but speech therapy, occupational therapy, and talk to karen therapy. so from the time that my immune system was rebooted to now, i've been learning everything that you guys already know how to do. how to use my tongue, how to sit up, what it looks like when people are sad.

see your brain (most likely) sees that someone looks sad and you immediately recognize that because you know what "sadness" as an emotion looks like on a human face. see, i had to learn that when someone has liquid coming out of their eyeballs and their face is squished, it means that they're sad. it used to take me a bit of time to come to that conclusion. and i had to to do that for any and all emotions. don't worry, i'm quicker now. but that wasn't the end of my woes. oh no. not even close.

because of OMS, i have ended up with what i like to call wal-mart brand ADHD and anxiety. the symptoms are the same but caused by something different so the pharmaceuticals on the market don't work for me. believe me, if you can think of it, i've tried it. so i make do with caffeine instead of adderall and scented candles instead of xanax. it's a fun time. those side effects make concentrating on schoolwork hard and going to sleep at night even harder.

i can't really put a finger on what i've learned from this. i guess how to be a human being. or at least act like one.